I found this. Thought I'd Share.

So a million years ago I decided that I was going to fix my life. Which as a side note I'm still waiting to start actually doing. So at four in the morning after a particularly violent crying jag I sat down and wrote this.

See I have this thing with making lists. I love them. Usually it's stupid shit, like that daily countdown that hasn't been updated in forever. I say I want to lose the acne and the weight and the bad attitude. This one however was a bit different. I found it today while I was looking through some of my lyric books. So here it is.....


I want...

to look in the mirror and feel beautiful.
to be somebody's somebody.
to know what it's like to feel truly safe with someone.
to know at least one true friend.
to fall in love more than once.
to have my heart broken and survive.
to find that one person I was meant to find.
to meet a kindred spirit.
to explore every aspect of myself.
to become comfortable in my own skin.
to look into someone's eyes for the first time and know them.
to put my feet in the ocean.
to fly on a plane.
to see another country.
to get at least one tattoo.
to write anything that affects at least one person.
to be part of something bigger than the sum of its parts.
to see as many concerts as I can.
to have a family.
to live some place warm.
to laugh hysterically for no reason until I cry.


Looking back it seems so strange that the me at 18 still wants all the things the me at 15 wanted. And I'm still making those stupid list. And I haven't lost the acne or the weight or the bad attitude. I know that most won't care about this list of what I want and that's okay. I think I just needed to be reminded.