Truth Tube One

Time to go about cleansing 22 years and starting again.

Here's where I start:

314lbs
5' 2"
57.6% BMI
65in waist
35 biological age

!!!!!!!!!!!!Let the games begin!!!!!!!!!!!

I've Been Asleep For Years

So much has happened. Too much really.

My brother got a poco loco girlfriend that he moved in with us a year and a half ago.
The first boy I ever loved was killed in a car crash.
I somehow managed to gain 70lbs.
Graduated high school finally.
Lost my mind a bit.
Found out that I have something that will probably prevent me from ever getting pregnant.
Fell in a fan girl haze for soooo many more people, artists and music.
Went back to my job at Source Adult Video.
Registered for a screenwriting course.
Lost and regained touch with family numerous times.
Brothers' crazy girlfriend gets pregnant.
Brothers' crazy girlfriend gets an abortion.
We keep it a secret from everyone else.
More of my mums' teeth fall out.
I came out to my mum as a bisexual and it takes her 6 months to accept that it's true.
6 more months and she still doesn't really like acknowledge it.
And I turn 22 and realize I'm in the same place I was at 18.

A pretty crazy year and a half and so far it really doesn't show any signs of slowing down and time soon. Maybe I'll visit more often to rant. God knows that if I did during the last year life might have been a little easier to stomach and it would have bore witness to all this insanity.

Long Overdue Picture and Yet Another Fan Girl Moment

Yah so it's been awhile. Life got crazy and I went into retreat. It happens four times a year or so. Okay so my uncle got his money. My brother is still being a pain in the ass and that guy never called. So all is right in the world.

Long overdue Storm and The Ball pics are up. Look up Look waayyyyyyyy up.

Was a very kick ass show. And I got to meet the woman herself. Very cool.

Also just last month I got to see Lukas Rossi do an acoustic set at Jet nightclub. Also got to meet him and said awesome way too much.

A good time was had by all. That's it for now but be warned I will be back.

When and Why??

I got a phone call from that Grandmother I was told was at deaths door. My 33 year old uncle had composed himself a nice little sob story about being broke and being on the edge of homelessness. A state he is quite accustomed to. So this woman I haven't truly spoken to since I was 13 years old is calling me and asking me what i make of his email.



" I hurt my back so i can't work. I haven't eaten in three days. Rent due and I'd rather die than be homeless again. "



The last time this happened he ended up hold up in my brother's room smoking his smokes and half of my brother's weed for a year.



So I did the thing I've been doing for years. Said I'd check up on him and make sure everything was okay. Just now passing the time until my ride gets here and I can't help but ask myself some questions this whole situation brings up.



When the fuck did it become my job to make sure this family is looked after. I'm in the middle of everything. When my aunt calls my mom pushes the phone to me and whispers 'I'm not here'. We talk and after I'm asked if I think she's manic again. My dad phones and my brother says 'I'm not here' and I'm asked how much I think he's had to drink tonight. My grandmother calls and I'm asked to make sure my uncle is still alive.

I'm twenty years old. He's thirty three. And I'm the one that needs to help him out.

When and why did it become my responsibility?

Birthday Came Early This Year

Tonight was one of the most awesome nights of my life. When to see Storm and The Balls at the Metro. There are not enough words to describe how amazing it was. Drank far too much. I sweat most of it out by the end of the first song. Afterward Storm listened to me chatter on like a fan girl for a bit and gave me a hug. Got a picture and then got dragged to this god forsaken country bar. Not three minutes in the door and a cute guy comes over. i did that stupid, what? who me? thing and he just grabbed my hand and led me to the bar. Thirty minutes later I'm making out with him on the dance floor. Phone number given. Probably phone number thrown away.

Holy Shit, fuckin twilight zone Batman.

I got kissed and got to meet one of the coolest women walking the face of the earth.

Tomorrow I'll post pictures and tell you if the answer to avoiding a hangover is a loud rock show and tongue kissing.

To The Teeth

It stabs at me every time she shows me the newest infection or places the newest small piece of tooth that just feel out. I should be able to do something. I can feel mine starting to go too. The cavities have been left too long. My jaw cracks and my whole head hurts. The government tells us that dentist aren't covered and I just don't have the $300 for one x-ray.

Meeting Of The Something

Tomorrow is going to be an interesting day. I've got a possibly life changing meeting to go to. this may in fact be the something drastic that's been looming. More later. Holding your breath will only lead to a little nap and a big headache.